Katy on Wellbeing

Law of Attraction: In Conversation with the Universe

Ask and It is Given

The circumstances of our lives mean that many of us reach adulthood having experienced any number of disappointments, and are afraid of hazarding ourselves for fear of being disappointed again.  We are terrified to hope.  And in this way, we shut ourselves off from receiving what the universe is trying to give.  What if instead we expected that, somehow, our desires were an integral and valid part of the expanding Universe, and would be fulfilled in due course?  Then we’d spend more time in a state of relaxed and appreciative anticipation, looking for evidence of our desires coming to fruition and enjoying the game.  The crazy and amazing ways things happen is as much a part of the fun as the actual manifestation.  A friend of mine met her now husband when they caught eyes passing each other on the street in NYC.  Then both did a double-take over their shoulders.  And again.  Third time they went back to talk to each other, and have been together ever since.  I mean, what are the chances?  Maybe they’re better than we think.


Be Open-minded about “What” and Forget About “How”

Our preconceived ideas of how something looks or could happen are ridiculously limited.  The Universe is working with an imagination and resources that dwarf our own.  A few months ago, I deliberately opened myself every morning to receive abundance.  My imagination tended to run along the lines of a check in the mail, or some activity that would result in one.  Instead the Universe came through with wildly on sale books and inspiration at Indigo, a free cappuccino at Starbucks, gifts of extravagant dinners out complete with cab rides home, and the gift of a new 42” plasma tv!!  More recently, I was focused on receiving a payout from my former company, which did not materialize.  But just a few days later I did my taxes, and my tax refund should be enough to live on for a year.

Be open-minded about “what” as well as “how”.  The Great Creator wears a bigger and more creative hat than we do, which causes us to miss many of the sweet and sometimes funny ways it fulfills our requests.  The first example above is a perfect one.  If I had defined material and financial abundance solely in terms of money (which initially I did, until experience and attention broadened my perspective), I’d have missed all the goodies at Indigo and Starbucks, and gifts from friends and family.  Or rather, I may have experienced them, but I would have missed their significance, missed the opportunity to really marvel at them and appreciate them, and missed the sense of being well cared for by the powers that be. 

Here is one more example about relaxing the “what”, and I include it because it makes me laugh.  I had been saying I’d like to attract more material/financial, romantic, and creative abundance.  All three were coming my way like the examples above .... in fun, surprising ways that were totally different from what I had been picturing.  Then, “Okay”, says the Universe, “how about writing romance novels?!  Hmmm?  They’re in huge demand!”  At first I was just surprised and skeptical about the suggestion.  It took me a day or so to work out that it was actually a fantastically elegant way of bringing more of all three kinds of abundance into my life!  Don’t know if I’ll actually do it.  But as I write this, I can still hear something very large giggling in the background, pleased with its own wit and efficiency.


Conversing With the Universe

So how did I “hear” the Universe speaking?  Through a new idea that just popped into my mind.  In the previous post I mentioned the dance of imagination, observation, appreciation, intuition and coincidence.  Two of the ways we speak to the Universe are through imagination and appreciation.  Two of the ways the Universe speaks to us are through imagination and coincidence.  Two of the ways we “hear” the Universe are through observation and intuition.  We discount so much as “just my imagination”.  It’s a withering criticism we’ve heard to accuse us of everything from lack of scientific evidence to hypochondria.  It’s the single biggest obstacle we face to engaging in an on going conversation with the Universe.  Because guess what?  The Universe, our souls, our intuition all speak the language of imagination.  What better way to communicate?  Why else did you think we have it?


What wonderful or surprising things have you attracted into your life?


If you would like to read more about the law of attraction, please visit my website.

Introduction to the Law of Attraction

In my “No Complaining” Diet post, I said that in order to understand the diet’s benefits we had to look at gratitude (covered in that piece) and the law of attraction.  So here we are.  What is it?

“The Law of Attraction says: that which is like unto itself is drawn. ... Nothing merely shows up in your experience.  You attract it, all of it, no exceptions.

“The more you come to understand the power of the Law of Attraction the more interest you will have in deliberately directing your thoughts -- for you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.

“Without exception, that which you give thought to is that which you begin to invite into your experience.  When you think a little thought of something you want, through the Law of Attraction, that thought grows larger and larger, and more an more powerful.  When you think a thought of something you do not want, the Law of Attraction draws unto it, and it grows larger and larger, also.  And so, the larger it grows, the more power it draws unto it, and then the more certain you are to receive the experience.”

-    Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction

In recent years, the law of attraction has migrated from the freaky fringe to middle of the mainstream.  Esther Hicks put it best when she said that she and her husband Jerry used to carry around their books in “Gone With the Wind” book covers, and now they make bestseller lists.  Hicks channels the non-physical entities called Abraham whose teachings, improbable as it may sound, are ground zero for understanding the law of attraction

If the non-physical part throws you off, there’s a heap of books by Wayne Dyer, Shakti Gawain and others that have been teaching this stuff for years.  More recently, the movie The Secret has become a grassroots phenomenon. 

There are some bodies of research that would seem to support the assertion that what we think about or feel can indeed influence things in the physical world.  The effect of thoughts and emotions on our cardiovascular and endocrine systems, as well as cell behavior are well documented.  Even when the cells are at some distance from our physical bodies!  And much-replicated studies confirm that our thoughts do affect the output of random number generators. 

But I think people’s current fascination with the law of attraction is based on anecdotal experience rather than science.  For better and for worse, it does seem like the things we think about, believe, and invest in emotionally are the things we attract into our experience again and again.  Perhaps it’s self-fulfilling prophesies at work, or we see what we expect to see, or virtuous and vicious cycles in the complex systems of our lives. 

We all know people who devote inordinate amounts of time thinking about sickness and are always sick.  Or enjoy making money, and can, with complete seriousness, offer compensation advice like, “just start early, and bitch them up another million”.  In some areas of our lives we are confident and expect the best and it usually happens.  In others we are chronically anxious and constricted, and guess what?

This is why the Law of Attraction helps illuminate the benefits of the "No Complaining" Diet.  When we complain about stuff we don't like or want, we attract more of it into our lives.  When we break the complaint cycle and focus on the things we do like, do want, already have and appreciate, then that's what we attract.  More to feel good about! 

What have you asked for recently, and what have you received?  For some, the answer to that question will flow easily and joyfully.  For others, it will be a bleak and embittered, “I’ve been asking for more money (health, love, happiness etc) for my whole life and I get nothing!”  Maybe.  Maybe not.  The language of the Universe is not difficult to understand, but it does take a little practice to learn it and become fluent.  Over time, we can evolve to a fluid, joyful, two-way conversation.  I think of it as a dance of imagination, observation, appreciation, intuition and coincidence.

Next post:  Law of Attraction: In Conversation With the Universe

Gianna's NO COMPLAINING Diet!

I read online this morning that my friend Gianna has embarked on a week-long "NO COMPLAINING" diet.  For a whole week, no complaining.  And I think that means inside your head as well as what comes out of your mouth.  It was a reminder that I really needed to hear, so I've joined her for the week.

For someone who lives a ridiculously fortunate life (which a "friend" once described, rather dismissively, as "a fairy tale"), I've been finding rather a lot to complain about in the past few weeks.  I'd rehash it all here, just for the perverse pleasure, but I'm on the diet, so I won't.  It's funny -- when I read Gianna's post and invitation, my first thought was "sure, can I start tomorrow, or next week?"  Like I needed some more time to squeeze in a bunch of last minute complaints.  I mean, come on, whassup with that??

So what might be the benefits of a "NO COMPLAINING" diet?  The answer lies in two areas: the importance of gratitude or appreciation; and the law of attraction.  I'll talk about gratitude here, and law of attraction in some upcoming posts.

Benefits of Gratitude / Appreciation

From a medical perspective, Dr. Dan Baker writes the following in What Happy People Know:

"During active appreciation, your brain, heart and endocrine system work in synchrony and heal in harmony.  ...  The threatening messages from your amygdala and the anxious instincts of your brain-stem are cut off, suddenly and surely, from access to your brain's neocortex, where they can fester, replicate themselves, and turn your stream of thoughts into a cold river of dread.  It is a fact of neurology that the brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time.  The two states may alternate, but are mutually exclusive. ... Because fear is the greatest enemy of happiness, appreciation is the most important (happiness tool)."

And pleasure guru Regena Thomasauer summarizes the metaphysics in Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts:

"Acknowledgment works in a similar way to chewing and swallowing.  If you are eating dinner, you have to chew and swallow your mouthful before you can have another.  When you acknowledge, you consume, or chew and swallow, the wonderful bite you just received, and you are ready for the next one.  No chewing and swallowing, and there will be no next bit -- your mouth is only so big."

I see appreciation / gratitude as the multivitamin for wellbeing.  It focuses our attention on the beauty and abundance and grace in our lives, not the obstacles or disappointments.  It helps us see the best in ourselves and others.  People feel instinctively safe around us, loved and welcomed, not judged.

Getting Started

So here's what I'm going to do this week, as I nix the complaining and focus on gratitude and appreciation:

• Write down what I'm grateful for every day, and really FEEL the gratitude for each thing I write
• Tell other people what I am grateful for, instead of complaining
• Tell others when I am grateful to or for them, and be as specific as possible  (e.g. Dave and Jason, if you are reading this, thank you for the lovely dinner last night, for inviting me to participate as an advisor to Carbon Foresight, and for reminding me how much fun work can be)
• Practice framing situations of all kinds in terms of what I appreciate (e.g. right now I'm glad that the construction noise in my building is relatively quiet, so I can work at home and not notice it)
• Pray in absolute gratitude for my life, the whole thing, with all its pains and pleasures

Anybody else want to try a week on the "NO COMPLAINING" diet??