Creation and Early Spring

Early spring has arrived in Toronto.  Though the branches and flower beds are still bare, all around we feel the quickening of new life.  A concentration of energy, sucking in of nourishment, and sprouting of hidden shoots, before leaves and flowers burst into form.  Pairs of waterfowl are feeding on the pond in the park (mainly frozen last week; entirely thawed now), enjoying a few weeks of freedom before the commitments of nests and babies.I am feeling spring, too.  I have spent the winter, such as it was, immersed in new ideas and skills.  Learning to experience consciousness as infinite, non-local and generative.  Reading about the emerging multi-disciplinary field of "conscious evolution".  Learning how to create healthier relationships.  Studying the evolution of feminine identity.  Contemplating the development of a management consulting course.  And with spring, like the plants, I feel the energy collecting, pushing to be organized and born in the form of writing.  But also, like the plants, this new growth is still largely unmanifest.  Last week, it was still "soon, but not yet".  When, driven by the building pressure of the energy, and my enthusiasm for the topics, I tried to write about them, the ideas lay pale and fragmented on the page.

I was torn.  On one hand, I looked at the natural world of which I am a part, and saw that everywhere creation is an organic process of allowing what needs to be born to be born.  On the other hand, I am a firm believer in a modicum of discipline, and the wisdom of Karl Weick: "how do I know what I think until I see what I say?"  In other words, "sit down and write, already!"  This is what separates humans from plants and animals: the ability to get tied up in knots about where we are and where we are not.

From last week to this, I see several changes marking the advance of spring in the park.  The ice, I've mentioned.  There are shoots of new, green grass, and a few buds on the trees.  The sun shines warmer, and more birds are singing.  This is the change I've noticed in myself: like rising sap, the words have begun again to flow.  So I will return to the unknotting of big tangled subjects like consciousness, relationship, and evolution.  And every so often I'll get a piece smoothed out enough to blog about it.  And I will do so inside a sense of kinship with the natural world, remembering that this is the season when we are all engaged in bringing forth something new.  We are all engaged in that awesome, timeless alchemy of transmuting energy into physical form.

What is building in you, wanting to be created?